Facebook Status

A few Facebook Statuses to make you smile... 

1. Dear ladies: if he tells you u guys will get closer and he will know u better/more after he "knows YOU", pls run, kos all dude wants to know is what your birthday suit feels like. Sucker will get to stepping eventually. Tell him to find a better excuse, then he should come talk.
2. Hello: if you have a problem with me, or bone to pick with me, pls let me know kos I cant walk thru you cluttered mind due to anger. Ur huffing, puffing, n fake laugh from humorless conversation with people just cracks me up kos it makes no difference. Hey! My life is going on fine, its u carrying the wahala. Hehehehehe
3. Note: as my husband, if you love me, u will bring maxwell to sing for us, well me on our wedding day, but if you really love me, don’t bring that dude. Kos I promise you I will not be at the reception, I will be at that flight out with the dude, making sure he is singing every moment of the day! Lawd! How dare he be that good? Not fair
4. when am faithless you are faithful, in my weakness you are stronger, for every selfish second u are exponentially selfless... when i forget u you draw me closer kos you never forget me, when i run u come chasing after me... You are the best thing that can ever happen to anyone, even though i dont say this very often God, THANK YOU!
5. Men say: “women? just run from them...", women say: "mmmm! men?? very evil, untrustworthy..." and bla bla bla.. hiss... but they dont leave each other o! u still see men with women, and women still chasing men. sharap and stop complaining.
6. He said: "Babe, i have changed, I am grown now, i think we should get back together...". She responded: "Dude, you claim you have grown when all you have done is graduate from 'Dumbo" to 'Professionally Licensed and Certified Dumbo...??" hahahahaha.. so hilarious.
7. isnt it just great when u find out that ur ex's nu gf is not half as good looking as u are??? hahahahaha! i saw my friend's ex tonight with his nu gf, and i was like na huh?!?, my friend is too hawt, a lil downgrade... hahahahahaha!
8. We were (almost) rapped my the chics..." so said Psquare.. buhhhaaaaahahahah!! rape fire.. hiss! na who dash u?? u better come out with that track of u and Drake o! hiss... if you want to see correct performance, what the movie D'comback. showing in the las gidi OCT 2010. by the way, P-Square, for future purposes, FIRE…
9. Public plea: I AM SERIOUSLY BEGGING PPLE, IF YOU ARENT SMART ENOUGH TO PATIENTLY TAKE SECONDS TO PROCESS MASS FORWARDED BBM MESSAGES BEFORE YOU SEND IT, THROW UR DARN PHONE OUT THE WINDOW AND GO PURCHASE A BRAIN... HISS.... don’t forward any crap to me anymore.. i mean seriously? lose my contact? dumbo, we backup blackberrys, U WILL RECOVER IT.
10. I wish I lived in a movie, I write the beginning n the end, I choose what angle to show, n how the plot will go. I carefully select the actors, location, equipment. I will manage every emotion at my call as the director. Unfortunately that is not the case! This real life
11. I am impatient, I am sweet. I am playful. I am structured. I am intolerant, I am a lover. I am giver, I do not take nonsense. I am caring, I am overbearing. I am talkative, I am a good listener. I am not the brightest; I am a bank of ideas. I am most definitely not perfect, most of all I AM A WORK IN PROGRES
12. Why I miss lagos: Mama kass, àmàlà síta, bánkólémo rice,good music, twins hair salon, ágege bread (in traffic), fan yoghurt, bolì ati epà,NTA2, danfo, bbq pple on island, comedy shows, n most of all okin biscuit. Lol. On the other hand, a deal breaker: NEPA! This trumps all others. Lol
13. Waiting for validation is like waiting for snow in spring: can happen but can be super weird. When you wake up in morning, say "Thank you God for another day". Go to your mirror and speak LIFE to yourself, tell yourself how wonderfully and fearfully you have been made, fashion and carved with care and attention to detail. No one except God knows you like you do, don’t wait for someone else to tell you who you are and/or who you can be
14. Something to remember: ONE THING YOU ARE SURE ABOUT IS THE ONES YOU LOVE AND CARE FOR, YOU CAN NEVER BE TOO SURE ABOUT THOSE WHO LOVE AND CARE FOR YOU. Stop assuming, assumption is the lowest level of knowledge. love yourself and don't wait for someone to love you before you do that!
15. When you wake up in morning, say "Thank you God for another day". Go to your mirror and speak LIFE to yourself, tell yourself how wonderfully and fearfully you have been made, fashion and carved with care and attention to detail. No one except God knows you like you do, don’t wait for someone else to tell you who you are and/or who you can be.
16. The Worst Type of People that can happen to anyone are those people who smile to your face and behind you slowly drive a poisoned knife into your back, bury you and sing sweet songs of nothing to you. I have met these people, time to cut them out!
17. Not everyone is a friend, you have friends and acquaintances! promoting someone who shld be an acquaintance to friend is what brings drama to one's life... acquaintances should be many, friends should be few
18. It’s amazing how people can take Tylenol/paracetamol for someone else's headache. isn't it easier to just easier to mind your own business?
19. I always remind myself: I am totally allergic to B.S, unresponsive to beefers, all about my sanity, and most of all I am super cute. hehehehe. I'm conceited, av got a reason!
20. Note to self: FALLBACK IN FALL. time to take the back seat, no need pleasing the "unpleasables", working for the lackadaisical, speaking for the silent murderers.. Fallback!